dustin the turkey acting the maggot

This is pure feckin’ quality. If you don’t know what Eurovision is, and you’re ignorant of Ireland’s honourable history in the competition, and of how seriously the rest of Europe takes it, and of how nationalistic the competition has become, and of how it’s impossible to get a vote unless you are a former soviet republic situated next door to another former soviet republic, then it’s impossible to describe how brilliant this is.

Dustin, a jackeen turkey in a shopping trolley, with a thoroughly dishonourable reputation for taking the piss has banjaxed our future in Eurovision. You should know that our song entry finished bottom last year and in response the nation has voted Dustin as this year’s contestant. Marvellous. I love it. And if you’re angry about it (as some people are) you’re a gom.

Speaking after his (its?) win, Dustin said:

I tried texting Obama for a catchy sound bite, but me mobile credit has run out and I’m sweating like Christy Moore